My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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