My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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