I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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