every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You pole danced in your parka.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I love you. Go after that dick
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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