I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla