put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
