i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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