help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize