I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize