At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We have started to decorate penises.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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