Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
