I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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