I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
