So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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