1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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