I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
