maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
