with your own penis?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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