from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize