I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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