Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
