Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
