I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
