So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i will never coherently bang her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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