her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
