I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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