If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
