Dual....:-)
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
