there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
