pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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