yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
