So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
