He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize