I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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