what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
