It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
