You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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