He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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