last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
