Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
