it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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