sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize