I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
