anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't want my vagina anymore.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize