Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
