it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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