I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
