Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
