i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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