i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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