Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm passing your future prison.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
