I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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