Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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