Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize