Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
