RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
