Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
