..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
