Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize